Men must take action in North Renfrew - An essay regarding the prevention of violence against women and girls.

Men must take action in North Renfrew!

Photo by Doug Tennant

An essay regarding the prevention of violence against women and girls.

 

It is with sadness and discomfort that my wife attended the virtual funeral today for a friend of hers from secondary school. It is alleged that her friend was killed by her husband of many years. I am concerned that her death and what was occurring during the days, weeks, months and years leading up to it, might have been prevented through intentional acts of dialogue, support and yes, intervention with respect to the topic of violence against women and girls.

 

Kathryn Marshall, a Toronto lawyer writes (Marshall 2020) that “[s]ince the COVID-19 pandemic started, violence against women has spiked dramatically. Women’s shelters have reported significant increases in calls and police have reported higher than average domestic violence related occurrences. Isolation and the severing of work and family support networks have no doubt played a major role.”

 

Additionally, the United Nations: Women website notes that since the outbreak of COVID-19, emerging data and reports from those on the front lines, have shown that all types of violence against women and girls, particularly domestic violence, has intensified. This is the Shadow Pandemic growing amidst the COVID-19 crisis and we need a global collective effort to stop it. As COVID-19 cases continue to strain health services, essential services, such as domestic violence shelters and helplines, have reached capacity. More needs to be done to prioritize addressing violence against women [and girls] in COVID-19 response and recovery efforts (The Shadow Pandemic: Violence against women during COVID-19 2020).

 

In Renfrew County, Anastasia Kuzyk, Nathalie Warmerdam, and Carol Culleton were murdered just over five years ago by a man that they knew. That man was found guilty of those murders and is serving a life sentence with no chance of parole for 70 years (Peplinskie 2019). It is still difficult to appreciate that these three women were murdered in our county.  But these crimes did occur. But they should not have happened. The murderer was known to police. He was known by friends, by neighbours, and to the community at large to be violent. He had even served time for his previous violent crimes against women. How did our criminal justice system fail these particular women?

 

According to the Women’s Sexual Assault Centre of Renfrew County (Centre), a female is sexually assaulted in Canada every 17 minutes. It is a sad and sickening truth that sexual assault, and violence against women and girls, resulting in murder, happens in North Renfrew. In fact, according to the Centre, most offenders in Canada are white males (Women Working Together To End Sexual Violence 2020).

 

Indeed, while almost half of Canadian women have experienced at least one incident of sexual violence since they were 16 years old, only 6% of sexual assaults are reported to the police. And sexual assault against women is usually committed by someone they know (Women Working Together To End Sexual Violence 2020). 

 

Men who commit sexual assault, can come from every economic, ethnic, racial, age and social group in North Renfrew. They can be a woman’s boyfriend, doctor, teacher, parent, clergy, relative or neighbour (Women Working Together To End Sexual Violence 2020).

 

Sexual assault is any unwanted act of a sexual nature including rape, touching or other unwanted contact. And with all the recent news of sexual harassment by powerful men over women what is the difference (if there really is one) between sexual assault and sexual harassment? Sexual harassment is defined as any sexual conduct, comment, gesture or contact that could be considered inappropriate or offensive. Sexual harassment is an act of violence against women and girls and can be committed by someone offering promotions or raises at work in return for sexual favours or attention. Sexual harassment also happens when someone makes your environment uncomfortable in a variety of different ways, including unwanted sexual comments, unwanted sexual contact, pornographic pictures or cartoons, and anything that makes the environment you are in uncomfortable or hostile (Women Working Together To End Sexual Violence 2020).

 

According to the Canadian government, (Government 2020), violence against women and girls is a form of gender-based violence and is an obstacle to gender equality, development, prosperity, peace and security. Everyone deserves to live their lives in peace with much joy and contribute to the health and wealth of our community here in North Renfrew and indeed, everywhere.

 

So, what are we, in North Renfrew, to do about violence and sexual assault/harassment against women and girls in general and especially during the ongoing pandemic?

 

We all must, especially men, become involved in a dialogue on the issue of violence against women and girls in North Renfrew.  Men must acknowledge that violence against women and girls happens in our community and commit to talking about the life saving topic of preventing this and all types of violence against women and girls. We must discuss it at church, the mosque, the gurdwara, and the coffee shop. We must talk about it with our children, our sisters, brothers and our spouse/partner. You must talk about it with your child’s teacher and with your local police officer. Talk about it in the hockey dressing room, the hunt camp, and while fishing or with your colleagues or family during your next Zoom virtual meeting.

 

You can become engaged in a local organisation that works to end violence against women and girls. Volunteer to help at a shelter or organise a community session about this topic. Attend and then share with your community what you learn at a workshop or seminar about how to end violence against women and girls.

 

You and your family can visit the Women’s Monument in Petawawa. The monument was created to remember, honour, and grieve local women of Renfrew County who have been murdered by men. It was unveiled in 2012 and is a place of reflection and tribute on the Emerald Necklace Trail between Algonquin and Harry Street in Petawawa. The monument was designed by Cormac artist/blacksmith Lydia Vanderstaal and owner/operator of Touch stone Masonry in Killaloe, Mary Crnkovich (We Remember - Women’s Monument n.d.). Learn more about the monument and share what you learn with others.

 

And on your calendars, you can highlight your opportunity to attend an annual local walk and/or vigil on December 6, 2020 with respect to the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women in Canada. On March 8, 2021 you can seek out where a local supper or vigil will be held to acknowledge International Women’s Day. If the pandemic prevents these community-based events from being held, consider having a smaller version at home or during your weekly worship service or at work via a video conference platform.

 

And while much can be achieved through dialogue regarding violence against women and girls, there is also the action of putting your money where your mouth is. Please donate what you can to your local Women’s sexual assault centre or shelter. Dialogue can help change outlooks and perceptions but there is also a real and urgent need for funding right now to assist with addressing violence against women and girls. In Renfrew County you can donate to the Women's Sexual Assault Centre of Renfrew County online at <https://www.canadahelps.org>

 

The lives of our spouses, daughters, mothers, sisters and aunts, indeed the health and prosperity of North Renfrew, depends on how our entire community gets involved. Men, especially, must become engaged in the effort to prevent violence against women and girls.

 

Works Cited

2020. Abuse - Women's Sexual Assault Centre of Renfrew County. Accessed October 13, 2020. https://wsac.ca/.

 

No Date. End Violence Against Women - Renfrew County. We Remember. X Theme and Primal Glow. Accessed October 13, 2020. http://evarenfrewcounty.com/we-remember/.

 

Government, Canadian. 2020. September 25. Accessed October 13, 2020. https://www.international.gc.ca/world-monde/issues_development-enjeux_developpement/gender_equality-egalite_des_genres/violence_against_women-violence_contre_femmes.aspx?lang=eng.

 

Marshall, Kathryn. 2020. Kathryn Marshall: The pandemic's epidemic of violence against women. Post Media- National Post. October 8. Accessed October 13, 2020. https://nationalpost.com/opinion/kathryn-marshall-the-pandemics-epidemic-of-violence-against-women.

 

Peplinskie, Tina. 2019. Pembroke Observer News. Post Media. September 2. Accessed October 13, 2020. https://www.pembrokeobserver.com/news/local-news/inquest-into-deaths-of-carol-culleton-anastasia-kuzyk-nathalie-warmerdam-announced.

 

2020. The Shadow Pandemic: Violence against women during COVID-19. United Nations - UN Women. Accessed October 13, 2020. https://www.unwomen.org/en/news/in-focus/in-focus-gender-equality-in-covid-19-response/violence-against-women-during-covid-19.